陳C9: 『我個仔成日都陰陰濕濕, 做左又唔認….. 』
張C9: 『我個女明明唔開心, 又不停咁笑, 好似精神分裂咁…..』

曾經話過女兒…

佢真係好古惑呀…..

佢成日都陰陰濕濕咁….

(明明做錯野, 睇住佢錯)
問她: 『邊個唔岩呀?』
女兒: 『(指住爸B) 爸B囉!!!』

又成問女兒: 『點解您要講大話?! 您知唔知咁樣係唔岩?』

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直至上到這一課…. 才發現… 原來學說上有Private Self一詞!!!!

意詞並不是成人人世界的”陰陰濕濕”, “古古惑惑”, “講大話唔誠實”……

老師再三強調: 『如果你地有小朋友, 請勿驚慌, 更不用擔心, 因為呢個絕對絕對係小朋友成長既一個新階段, 佢地一定要經歷過, 先會建立起一個完整既”自我概念”, 可以做既, 就係善意的糾正佢既過錯… 就可以了!』

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說英文的地方, 會有”I”同”ME”之分, 但中國人既語言, 什麼”I”, 什麼”ME”, 都係一個”我”字, 變相, 我地可以領略既, 可能會比較遲, 比較慢……

本來想將以下的資料翻譯成中文, 但語言能力奇差的我, 實在顯醜不如藏掘…  文字不難理解, 內容更是簡單易明…. 有興趣的好友們, 可以細看一下….

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Public Self: people can see (both physically & mentally)

Private Self: not available for public scrutiny

By the age of 2-3
~ aware knowing something that others don’t know
~ know that their thoughts cannot be observed, reflected by (1) lying and hiding their guilt; (2) faking emotions

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The Concept of “I” & “ME”

I: a private self that has an inner, reflective (thinking) character not available to others

ME: a public self that others can see

An 18 – 24 months old infant often use a personal pronoun (me) or their own name to label their photographic image (Lewis & Brooks-Gunn, 1979)

記: 難怪靖天見到自己個樣, 只會說”靖天”, 但極少說”我”, “我黎架”….

Early understandings of Mental States

At 18-month-old: reason accurately about other peoples’ desires (Toddlers demonstrate some awareness of their own & others’ mental states)

By the age of 2-3: often talk about mental states such as needs, feelings, desire  (也許就是形成了tERRIBLE 2的問題吧?)

Between 3-4: a belief-desire theory of mind appears (Children recognize, as we adults do, those beliefs & desires are different mental states & that their or both can influence one’s conduct) (Wellman, 1990)

Example: A 4-year-old that has broken a vase while roughhousing, may try to overcome his mother’s desire to punish him by trying to make her believe that his breaking that vase was an accident

Middle Childhood (7-9 years):
~ Using more abstract or psychological attributes to represent their inner qualities (e.g. traits values, beliefs, etc)
~ Evolves from social interactions and undergoes many changes over the course of a lifetime

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上課之所以唔眼訓, 就因為有些理論, 雖悶, 但卻正正可以應用到女兒身上….

正當靖天媽媽若干月前不停的想: 為何靖天小小年紀會說謊話? 為何心肝明明做錯而知道卻又胡說是爸B….. 原來一切, 都是這個”我“在作怪….

明白了, 知道了, 也就不再擔心, 是否教導方法出問題….

2歲的靖天, 對”我”的概念已經越來越強, 知道靖天是自己 (指指自己), 也會知道做錯的其實是自己, 亦開始承擔過錯….

但願, 遲些時間, 心肝能夠搞清楚”我”, “你”, “佢……

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